The hotel room is cozy. From the window I can see cars moving on the road. I count the number of Ambassador Taxis. There are so many of them. I want to forget what I saw today. I try to get my attention to the things moving on the road. But my uneasiness gets better of me. I sit down on the white bed thinking of that memory. How could I forget it! But it starts making sense to me. Tomorrow I would connect these experiences to my voice. A sense of peace has drifted upon me like snowflakes falling from the sky. Once we know the reason, there will be a cure as well. I lie down, close my eyes, and go to sleep for a while.

When I wake up, it is time to go to Sabina’s house for the party. I hail a taxi. The pan chewing taxi driver talks the whole way about the chief minister of West Bengal, calling her didi. I have no intention of getting into a conversation with him. I keep staring at the row of small shops passing by. The population density of this city must be very high. Everywhere one can find people standing or walking. I had heard a lot about the beauty of Kolkata from my Bengali friends. It is difficult to point out the beauty though looking through the windows of the taxi. A lot of it looks dirty and poor to me.

I enter the Bungalow of the address given by Sabina. Many cars are lined up on the road outside it. The party has started. Inside, people are standing and chatting in a large hall with drinks in their hands. Sabina is in a corner involved in a conversation with a group. I search for Boss but cannot find her. Then I see her coming down the stairs with a broad-shouldered man who I guess is Mr. Bose, Sabina’s father. They have the same nose, a sort of pyramid with two caves. Boss sees me and raises her glass. She walks towards me with Mr. Bose.

‘Meet Kabir, Sabina’s friend.’

I shake his hand. He does not speak a word.

‘How are you, Boss?’

‘I am a bit drunk, as you can see. Shounak here won’t let me get out of my drinking habit.’ She pats him on the back. He smiles to himself.

‘Would you like to drink something?’ he asks.

‘Yes.’

‘There is the bar at the corner. Please help yourself.’

I look at the direction. Hidden because so many people are standing in my view, I see a large array of bottles lined on three shelves. There is a bartender and I start walking towards him.

‘One scotch with water.’ I am to do my thing with the drinks. Hold it for as long as possible. He pours one for me and hands it over. I take it and stand at a corner. The party goes on as any other party, people chattering, and mixing together: groups changing sizes, sounds of laughter emanating from different parts of the hall at different intervals, soft music playing on the music system, glasses clinging to each other, no one for me to talk to. Until I see Sabina walking towards me.

‘How was it today?’ she asks.

‘Heavy,’ I say.

‘Heavy! Heavier than the problem you are facing?’ she smiles.

‘Definitely not.’ I say.

‘Come, let me take you to Daddy.’

‘I have met him.’

‘Did you introduce yourself?’

‘Sort of.’

‘Come. There he is standing and boasting to his friends.’

She takes me to the group where her father is standing.

‘Daddy, this is Kabir. I was telling you about him.’

‘Oh. The quid pro quo agreement. Sorry I didn’t recognize you the first time. I like it young man. You don’t do anything for free.’

I have for some reason forgotten the agreement. I am surprised that Sabina had told her father about it.

‘Yes, some help I can give.’

‘Sure, you can. So how is it going, your experience here?’

‘It will help.’

‘Nice to hear that. There have been people who have run away after their first experience. We need inquisitive minds like you to stay and inquire. It’s all about inquiry you see. Once you start asking the right questions, we can solve any problem.’

‘True.’

‘So, stay there. Take the whole training. You have the Boss with you. There can be no one better.’

‘Is nice.’

‘You need someone nice on the other end you see. Otherwise, one would never stay. There is so much shit inside. Who needs shit inside?’ he laughs.

‘True.’

‘We have seen worse cases get treated. You can stand here on your two feet and have a decent conversation. We have had cases that could not even stand still for a minute.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. And we have treated them.’

‘Any advice for him Daddy?’ asks Sabina.

‘Sure.’ His eyes widen and his face stretches. ‘Remember, always remember, these voices and hallucinations are nothing but your own creation. They are not bigger than you. They can never control you. And if you take the right approach, one day you can control them.’

I am still not sure what the treatment is. Is it getting rid of the voices or is it controlling the voices while they are still there? I ask him.

‘Getting rid of these voices possible?’

‘Only if you are very lucky. That is what I can say from my experience. But you can live happily and peacefully with them. That in my opinion is the treatment.’

‘You should not disappoint him, Daddy.’

‘It’s better to tell the truth than to raise imaginary expectations!’

Something sinks inside me. I want the voices to go away.